The Phrase That Changed My Life
I have a lot of goals for 2025. Some really big ones. Some scary ones. Raise ‘em high if that’s you, too.
And a lot of those goals will require new skills, habits, and ways of being.
So… when that ball dropped, I decided that one, two, or even three New Year’s Resolutions wasn’t going to cut it. Instead, I'm adopting a phrase for 2025 that I want to share with you. It’s already changed my life.
Have you heard the concept that the fastest way to create or change a habit is to change your identity?
If you haven’t, let that sink in for a minute.
Let’s look at an example. If you’re someone who is constantly trying to make yourself exercise, do you think of yourself as / talk about yourself as / identify with folks who workout? Or do you think of yourself as someone who struggles to exercise?
Now let’s flip it. If you identify as a runner, do you prioritize running? Do you do it even when you have that fleeting thought that you don’t really want to? Does running somehow make its way into your schedule no matter what else is going on? I bet it does.
See how that works?
If you decide (key word there) you are someone who works out, it will become natural to prioritize your workouts and do them consistently. There is much less friction. You decide and you make it happen. (This is one of the foundational principles of manifesting… more on that later…)
It can be a slow process, though. Our brains fight us hard when it comes to making real changes in our behaviors. Even when we really want to.
But this magical phrase is a game-changer. This phrase has already up-leveled my life at warp speed.
Ready?
I am unavailable for that.
Or, if you’d prefer to state it in the positive: I am only available for that.
(I’m a bit of a natural rebel so saying it in the negative works better for me 😉)
The really magical thing about this phrase is that you can apply it to pretty much anything.
Before we talk about why it works, let me share a few examples:
Boundaries “I am not available to be talked to that way.” or “I am only available for being talked to respectfully.”
Finances: “I am not available for having less than $5,000 in my account at all times.” or “I am only available for having $5,000 or more in my account at all times.”
Housework: “I am not available for a dirty kitchen.”
Time management: “I am not available to look at my phone until I’ve finished my critical tasks for the day.”
Protecting your energy: “I am not available for stressing about things I can’t control or don’t move the needle for me.”
Parenting: “I am not available for getting angry at my kids.”
Health: “I am not available for missing my workouts.”
If any of these examples have resonated with you, you may already be understanding why this works.
Identity - As I’ve already alluded to, this beautiful phrase starts with “I am” so - once you’ve decided how you want to use it - it becomes a part of who you are. Immediately. Which makes any related habits you want to create waaaay easier. This year, I am not available for a dirty kitchen, so every time I walk by the sink I just say to myself “I am unavailable for dirty dishes,” and - voila - I take a minute to do dishes. It’s who I am now.
Accountability - Let’s take the dishes example. If I am not available for a dirty kitchen, that’s my thing. Not anyone else’s. And if you’re worried about teaching your kids how to pick up, or doing more than your spouse around the house, let me tell you how this has gone for me: My example is changing everyone’s behavior. The kids see me happily - not resentfully - doing dishes, and they have started doing more without being asked. My spouse is helping more with dishes and taking the initiative to do laundry more often, also without me saying a thing. Win-win-win. Stop being angry about things that you want done, and start leading by example.
(I do want to note here that I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have conversations with your roommates or family about household responsibilities. I am suggesting that you take responsibility for how you feel and respond, look at problems through a new lens, and let go of negative energy that isn't serving you.)
Adjust Your Energetic Setpoint - Your energetic setpoint is your comfort zone. It’s how you always have about the same amount of money in the bank and can’t seem to save more, never have time for that passion project you’d like to start, find yourself in harmful relationship patterns, or get stuck in a job that’s not working for you. But when you stop being available for something, your setpoint shifts. If you change your setpoint for your home so you expect to always have a clean kitchen, it will become - full circle here - a part of your identity.
Say this phrase, believe it, and act on it, and you will change your life.
I am unavailable for that.
⚡Manifestation in action. ⚡
Tell me, what are 3 things you will no longer be available for in 2025?
